This is what privilege is.

I’m a videographer, approached online by a bride who needs one for her wedding. I send her a summary questionnaire to get an idea of her needs. Basic stuff. She comes back to me a few days later with “I have to ask every vendor this: this is a same sex wedding. Are you okay with that?”

And of course, I respond, “I would love to shoot video for a same sex wedding!”

I am bisexual, but I married a woman. I didn’t have to ask a single vendor this question. I didn’t even think of asking. Hell, here in NJ, I didn’t even worry about the fact that our marriage is interracial (our families are very supportive – heck, almost every single cousin in my family is interracially married.).

So I can only imagine how sad and hard it must be to ask every. single. vendor. that question. Every time, risking the potential heartache of someone saying “No, I’m sorry, that’s against my beliefs. I won’t help you.” To be reminded that you are not living in a world where your love is admired, respected, or even safe. To go through the immense struggle of planning a wedding with the burden of this question on top.

You want to know what privilege is? Privilege is never having to ask “Is my love okay with you?”

Like any good freelancer, I want to land this gig. But now I *really* want to land this gig. So I can help create a kickass document of this beautiful love in a troubling and difficult time.